Tonight it feels like my heart is broken – but its a different kind of brokenness – the kind that doesn’t come from one person or one event, but a buildup of everything in a way that kind of feels like the universe has been conspiring against you for far too long and probably its time that someone just throws you a bone. I guess maybe a little bit like life is the culprit behind this heavy heart — beaten, broken, and a tiny bit hopeless. This has been the year of broken hearts, but since you only get one, its really more like the stitching keeps coming loose just as you think its healed back together. I wish they knew how bad they can hurt you sometimes, even though you still keep holding your head up smiling proud like nothing ever hurts. So yep, that is what is on my mind and in my heart. As for inspiration. White shirts. Simple, crisp, weightless – the way I’m ready for my heart to start feeling again.

This week is my birthday week, which usually fills me with excitement, but so far, I’m feeling more melancholic than anything. For one, the last six months have brought a lot of unexpected changes in my life – of the kind I can’t say I’ve enjoyed. This Thursday will be the first birthday without my Grandma. And I may not get a call from my Dad. And of course, there are those things and people that leave me hoping with anxiety! Still, this past year, more than any other year, I am grateful for having found very good friends. So here’s to 33! Dear Universe, if you are reading this, send me some goodness in the form of health, and happiness, and prosperity, and cuddles. I could use some cuddles.