From the Closet:
Waiting for Spring

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Anine Bing jacket, IRO top, Frame Denim jeans, AllSaints booties, Saint Laurent bag, Maison Michel hat

Ok Paris, you’ve been a bit moody lately when it comes to weather. One day you’re hot, the next day, you’re storming. I need a little consistency in my life – like say, sunshine everyday maybe? You get me. No more cold. My cold weather clothing is stuffed away in my closet in California.

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From the Heart:
The Calm

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This year has been interesting for me so far. I think mostly because I went into it knowing that I’d be leaving for three months in April I became uncharacteristically nonchalant about things I usually freak out about. The result has been a calm that has enveloped my life. I like it. It’s refreshing. But at the same time I keep thinking, when? I can’t even pinpoint precisely what I’ waiting for – I presume its a him, but then also, I wonder if its just the storm that has been absent, and if that’s the case, I don’t want to be waiting really at all. I’m not sure if you have to step outside of your life to get this place where I’m at, but I can tell you it feels good enough to maybe give it a try. Happy Tuesday loves! xoxo

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Paris Photo Diary:
Part I

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So here is my first installment of Paris photos after almost one month here. Disclosure: I’m trying to learn photography (ok, I’ve been trying for years now) and failing miserable (I shoot in automatic), but I’m not giving up just yet! Hopefully, the photos you see in my last installment will be improved (and shot in manual). Enjoy!

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From the Closet:
The Men's Section

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Zara jeans, Lacoste x J Crew polo, Ray-Ban sunnies, Gucci bag

I’ve shared this little shopping secret before: I love to shop in the men’s section. Obviously its a little tricky with size, and maybe its something not everyone can pull off, but for those of us who fall not the taller end of the height spectrum – trust me on this one – next time you are shopping, venture upstairs (or downstairs) to discover a whole new world of one of a kind options! When it comes to certain items – like polos and collared shirts, the cut and size of the women’s selection is always off to me. For instance, the J Crew women’s version of this Lacoste polo was short – but I’m a long, baggy kind of shirt girl – as many of us are! Other treasures I’ve found in the men’s section are sunnies (want a pair no one else has?), scarves, sweats (harem style and baggy), hats (for women who have big heads like me), and the perfect boyfriend jeans (I mean they don’t call them boyfriend jeans for nothing!). Ok, ladies, happy shopping! xoxo

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Dear Gabrielle,

You’re on the verge of your 20th birthday, and life is all roses for you now, but in your late-20’s you’re going to have a moment of self-realization.  With a little help from a therapist, you will come to find that you are most definitely a co-dependent and once you start independently researching what that means, it will feel like someone crawled inside of you and lived there long enough to understand how you tick. But you’ll be a little young still to truly appreciate what this means to you. The revelation will be consumed, but not digested. Let me digest it for you now: you don’t have to be everything to everyone all the time. Be everything to yourself first.

You’re still in the slow, sweet days of your life, but some day, life is going to speed up, and the the Januarys will become Aprils without thinking twice about those months in between, and before you know it, your youth will be (almost) gone, and you will be in your mid-30’s, and you may not have all the things you think you are going to have, all the things you dreamed of having, and what will matter most is the quality of those short days, short months, short years. The best way to guarantee the best outcome is to make damn sure you are spending them doing exactly what makes you happy.  It’s the most important thing that matters. It’s the only thing that really matters.

You are not responsible for the happiness of others.  And if you keep thinking you are, you will end up feeling unhappy, defeated, and exhausted.

Learn to say no. It doesn’t make you less of a daughter, less of a sister, less of a friend. No isn’t as heavy as you believe it is. Actually, sometimes it’s lighter than yes.

One day, when you’re least expecting it, you are going to meet someone who is going to seem to fit so perfectly in the space you’ve been saving in your heart all your life. He will be charming and sharp and not at all the way you pictured, but everything you want. But you can’t always get what you want.  You can put up a good fight. In fact, you will. But you’ll lose and in losing you are going to search long and hard for meaning and truth. What you will come away with is this: You still love him. You always will. And even after 100 million reasons why you should close that door forever, you will always leave it open just a little crack….And no matter how much everyone will tell you that you’re wrong in doing so, its ok, really, because how tragic life becomes once you give up hope! You can’t always get what you want, it’s true, but that doesn’t mean you should give up hoping for it.

When your brilliant, gay, handsome Civil Procedure professor instructs his first period, first semester law students at the end of the semester that the best piece of advice he can offer these Type-A overachievers (you among them) as they embark on the next 2.5 years of law school, and the careers that will come after, is to learn to fail, listen to him. He is right. There is no shame in failure. Life’s important lessons are hidden in every corner and crack of the path that lies ahead of you – not just in the path to success. Fail. And allow yourself to follow that path too. It may be the one that takes you exactly where you are meant to be.

Be humble.  You are going to want to believe that your value comes from how you appear physically to the outside world. People are going to treat you like your value comes from how you appear physically to the outside world. The more you subscribe to this, the emptier you will feel. Beauty is fleeting. Youth is temporary. Remember what counts.

Sometimes you only get one shot with a handsome man, and if you blow it, you blow it. And maybe, twenty years later, you will not remember the handsome man who you blew it with. But maybe, also, you will. And you will wonder, what if? Try to avoid these what if’s – they are like heavy weights that linger in the dark corners of your mind as you trudge forward, always pulling you down, back into the past.

Google the word “empathy” and burn the definition into your mind like its the most important thing you will ever have to remember. When it comes to dealing with others, it will be the most important thing you will ever have to remember. Not everyone is as strong as you, as confident as you, as quick as you, as blessed as you. In fact, most people are not. And the best way to get through this life is understanding that.

When you are young, there are going to be many rules. Don’t drink. Don’t do drugs. Don’t have sex with strangers. Don’t spend your money frivolously, etc., etc. Know that these rules exist more as guiding points. They aren’t hard and fast. Some of the best nights of your life will be the nights you broke all the rules. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Let go. Have fun. In the end, you will still be the same person. You will just have enjoyed it more.

If a man likes you, he will call. He will make an effort to see you. He will follow through. He will take you on dates. He will want to call you his girlfriend, maybe even long before you are sure you want to call him your boyfriend. He will want to introduce you to his parents. He will want to introduce you to his friends and his boss and his personal trainer and just about every other person in the universe. He will say he loves you and you are the best thing that has ever happened to him and he wants nothing more than for you to be his wife some day and you will feel it. Words and actions will be one in the same. You are going to have the urge to push away every man of this kind. Don’t. These are the keepers.

When a man doesn’t like you enough, he calls and texts infrequently, sporadically, unreliably. He will only make an effort to see you when it suits him. He will flake. He won’t take you on dates, but instead meet you in situations that are conducive to hooking up. He won’t want to call you his girlfriend. He will come up with every excuse not to. He will delay introducing you to his parents, hesitate inviting you to events that involve his friends, trivialize his work holiday party to avoid having to take you. He may say he likes you, he is crazy about you, you are the sexiest thing he has ever met, he is madly attracted to you, he wants to kiss every inch of your body, he thinks you are perfect, one of a kind actually — and you will want more than anything to believe these things and that they mean he loves you – but you won’t feel it. There will always be a disconnect between his words and his actions. You are going to have the urge to fall for every man of this kind. Don’t. These are not the keepers.

You are going to spend more hours of your life obsessing over men than you will spend obsessing over any other thing. Daddy issues. And most of it will be borne from your fear of rejection, which you are going to want to take personal. Daddy issues. Realize that most of the time it has nothing to do with you. I repeat. Most of the time it has nothing to do with you.

And finally: Don’t break character. You’ve got a lot of heart. And you will come to find that maybe that doesn’t mean much to everyone. But it always has, and it always will, mean everything to you.

xoxo, Gabrielle

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