When I was in Paris, I met up with my old chiropractor from San Diego, someone whom I had bonded with during many sports therapy sessions years ago, and whom I stayed in touch with over Facebook since leaving San Diego in 2011. She was visiting Paris for her 40th birthday and after dinner and several glasses of wine we started talking about life – careers, friendships, experiences, relationships. She told me she wished she was in Paris with a partner to celebrate her milestone birthday (of course, everyone does!), but in turning 40 and looking back on the last decades of her life, she realized that the universe had always given her everything she had ever asked for, everything she had ever wanted – so while she didn’t have everything at that moment in time, she knew everything was still coming, in time. The universe is funny in so many ways. For one, I’d like to ask it why it brought us together at that moment, in Paris, after years of being apart, because I truly believe her wisdom, as someone a few years older than me, was exactly what I needed. And I always know when someone says something I’ve been needing to hear, because I tuck it away tightly in that special place I reserve for things of that nature, like a prescription for medication I need, but not immediately – soon enough though. I had my “soon enough though” moment last week, while driving down a street in Beverly Hills that I’ve driven down a million times, listening to a song I’ve probably listened to a million times, headed somewhere I’ve probably been a million times. Everything was the same, and yet I felt it – different. I knew it was time to stop everything going on outside, like pressing pause on life, and reach inside to retrieve her beautiful words. I knew it was time because I was feeling disgustingly happy for no reason at all really, and it was the kind of happiness I knew I needed to be grateful for. It always is that way when it comes on unexpectedly whilst going about the mundane tasks of living. And so I thought: The universe has always given me everything I’ve ever asked for. The universe has always given me everything I’ve ever wanted. The truest true. So I don’t have everything. Of course not! But I have so much more than any one person might reasonably expect. I can’t say it’s more than I’ve ever dreamed of having, because I always dream big. But still! And in all honesty, life isn’t all roses all the time. I have days when I feel like a shadow of darkness is chasing me, trying to envelope me, pull me back into sadness, break my spirit, again. But still! The universe has always given me everything I’ve ever asked for. The universe has always given me everything I’ve ever wanted. So universe, thank you.
So now I’m back in California. It has been two weeks and I think mostly the sadness has passed, and I’m excited about what lies ahead. A few days before I left Paris, while enjoying a tea at the Cafe de Flore, I had a brief conversation with a friendly waiter. He saw me photographing my table and in order to excuse my faux pas, if you will, I told him I was a fashion blogger, something I rarely divulge to strangers, because even now, I’m shy about it for many reasons. While his English was good, he didn’t quite grasp the blogger part, and only took away that I did something in fashion, which interested him because his wife works in fashion. He asked me what I did, and without even thinking, I said I was a designer. Now, I never lie – I’m unapologetically honest. For my three months in Paris, I was asked this question dozens of times: Are you a student? Are you a model? What are you doing here? And each time, I shrugged shyly and responded, “Nothing,” well aware of the privilege of living in one of the most sought after cities in the world with nothing to do. But wander. And think. And dream. Nevertheless, as the word designer slipped off my tongue, I believed it. It was something like manifesting. It’s what I decided on after three months of wandering, of thinking, of dreaming. And even after the words left my mouth, I did not for a second doubt their authenticity, their truthfulness. And that’s when I knew I would become one.
Maje dress, Stan Smith Adidas sneakers
On one of my first few days in Paris, I was sitting along the Seine, enjoying a glass of rose with a friend, when I noticed the most adorable girl wearing white Adidas sneakers with jeans and a tee. Her outfit was so effortless, yet so perfect and I couldn’t stop thinking about the shoes. Of course, then I realized they were everywhere – literally on the feet of almost every Parisian between the ages of 15 and 35. And so I went hunting for a pair of my own. And since I found them, I have lived in them. When I bought this lovely little Maje dress, I spent weeks trying to find shoes to match, then finally, I decided to just throw on the trusted Stan Smith Adidas. Somehow they really do work with everything, even little summer dresses! So kids, this is as Parisian as I’ll ever be. Bisous.Read More
NICHOLAS dress, Zara heels
Another one of my favorite Aussie labels – picked this one up in Melbourne in January with Paris on my mind. Type A planning even when it comes to clothes.Read More
AG overalls, J Crew shirt, Adidas sneakers, Saint Laurent bag
Oops, I did it again. This time in white. New summer uniform.Read More