From the Heart:
One Month to Finish

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If you follow this From the Heart series, you probably know from reading that this hasn’t been the best year of my life. Perhaps my emergency exit from Aspen on New Years Eve, after falling very, very ill, should have been an indication of what was in store for me in 2014. As I look back on the last 11 months, most of my hopes remain unrealized. I am beyond grateful for all the goodness in my life – I have the most amazing friends, a wonderful family, gainful (but not always enjoyable) employment, freedom, independence, and the means to live the life I always dreamed I’d be living, none of which I’m sad about. But 2014 has been particularly rough on my body – inside and out. These last few months, I’ve been riddled with injury and sickness and lets not even get me started on my broken little heart (I could name names, but lets just say it begins and ends with my dad, because as I’m learning with therapy, he is directly and indirectly the root of everything). But alas, its not over until its over, so my body willing, I hope to close out this year with a bang – strong, healthy, and happy. I hope the same for all of you! Happy December! xoxo











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From the Closet:
Anine Bing


Anine Bing jacket and boots, 10 Crosby Derek Lam shirtdress, Gucci bag, Lola hat

Obsessed with Anine Bing on so many levels. Her new store on West 3rd is amazing. I want everything in it.





photographs by Manuel Vinicio

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From the Heart:
That Jetset Life


A few weeks ago, I had a first date with a very nice gentleman of 34 years old. As is customary in my life, because travel is such a huge part of my soul, the conversation turned to my many upcoming trips. He was impressed and then divulged that he had only been out of the country twice in his life. I immediately knew it wasn’t going to work and that was the end of that. I have nothing against people who think Hawaii counts as traveling. I have everything against Americans who think Hawaii counts as traveling. I also have everything against grown adults with the means to travel who just don’t. There is a whole huge world out there and to stay within the comfort of these borders feels narrow-minded in a way that makes me uncomfortable. I was privileged to be raised by a father who left his home in the West Indies at a very young age for England and who traveled around the world with the RAF. He met my mom while she was hopping around Europe in her early-20’s. I spent the first five years of my life mostly abroad and the other thirteen years of my childhood listening to my parents tell stories about life abroad. I was fascinated to hear my dad describe the experience of visiting Bergen-Belson or my mom’s stories of co-workers crossing the inner German border in the trunks of cars. I visited Stonehenge around the age of 2; learned how to squat to pee while hiking in the Alps at 4; watched Olympic ski-jumpers from the window of our apartment in Garmisch instead of TV; and attended a proper German kindergarten (ok pre-kindergarten). Even after returning to America (a decision I wish my parents never made), my older sister and I were the weird kids who spoke some hybrid of German and English, drank hot English breakfast tea with soggy digestives instead of Coca-Cola, and embarrassingly carried metal G.I. Joe lunch boxes that my dad acquired, probably on some military base, while our peers had new plastic pink My Little Pony ones.  I live for jumping on planes, getting my passport stamped, conversing with taxi drivers in foreign countries, trying new foods, and meeting people whose lives are drastically different from my own. I once dated a guy who warned me that my jetsetting lifestyle would change one day when I had children. I laughed at his suggestion, knowing full well that the first thing I buy when I’m pregnant someday is a baby carrier to strap my babe to my belly. My blood isn’t American. It never has been. Its the salt of the sea and the dust of the desert and very corner of the world in between.  So naturally, its surprising to no one that for the past few years, I’ve spent Thanksgiving in the most un-American way possible – fleeing America and foregoing the fattening feast altogether. Historically, Europe has won the privilege of my company. This year – I’m headed to Peru, bucket list style.













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From the Closet:
Black and Blue


Zara shirt, jeans, heels; Givenchy bag; Celine sunnies; Chanel necklace

Here I am playing around with angles. And trying to reconcile my oil and water feelings about black and blue. Kind of like silver and gold. Just want them all to get along.






photographs by Manuel Vinicio

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Two and a half years ago, I met someone who shook my world apart. He was everything to me, though we were nothing. But somehow it seemed like the moment he wiggled his way into my mixed up heart, I was attached to him like a bungee, and every time it felt like I had distanced myself enough from him to feel like I was finally free of his pull, I’d spring back towards him. The reconnection was always unwilling on my part, because I really was running away, or at least trying. But then I’d quickly forget why I was running to begin with because all I could feel was certainty….. Four years ago, when I was going through the breakup of breakups (with my 8-year) it was “Better in Time” by Leona Lewis that got me through the sad days, sad nights, sad everything. Of breaking up, she sings, “its gonna hurt when it heals too” and to this day, I still can’t find a better way to describe breaking up ….. I’m not sure if it was him or me, so I’ll say we – we cut the bungee. So I’m outside of his pull, this time, forever. But pieces of him remain inside me. I will be walking happily arm in arm with my best friend in New York City when I pass a hotel that reminds me of a time we spent there a year ago, quite by accident, and then those pieces, though so little, consume me, envelop me, and I’m sad and I miss him. It still hurts long after it heals. La tristease durera toujours.





















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