Back when I was graduating college at 21, over 10 years ago now, and getting ready to start law school, I remember spending some time reflecting on what I wanted to be in life. Though I had already committed to law school, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that there was really only one thing I was certain I wanted to be as I entered true adulthood – a mother. I’m 33 now and still not a mother. But lately, I’ve again been struck with that same certainty I had years and years ago. Only now, my thoughts on motherhood have become enveloped by the idea that some things in life don’t happen the way you think they should. Because my parents are divorced, and were ill-matched to begin with, I’ve always been very adamant about waiting for the right partner before I started a family. But as I get older, and am increasingly skeptical about meeting my match, I’ve been considering going at it alone – I’ve even recruited a few potential baby daddies. I’m absolutely certain I will be able to give my baby the love equivalent of five parents so that she (or he, but hopefully she) will not want for a father. Afterall, I have a half-assed one, so I’m a firm believer that non-existence is better than half-assedness. Still, it’s hard to erase the idea I have of what a family is supposed to look like – what I want my family to look like. The thing is though, you can’t wait for life to happen, because sometimes it just won’t. Sometimes you have to take matters of dear importance to your heart into your own hands and force them to happen. The other night, while pinning inspiration for this From the Heart series, I stumbled upon this photo of a baby girl (below) and I literally started crying. And through my tears, it became very clear that this was one of those things I just may have to take into my own hands.
There is one thing about me that is a complete and utter paradox. While I tend to be very thoughtful about everything (my therapist says I’m too much intellectual and not enough emotional), I’ve been known to make very haphazard, careless decisions about some of the more important things in my life. When I was applying to college, for instance, I didn’t know what I wanted to major in, so I selected a different major for every application. That I graduated with a Communications degree from UCSD had everything to do with the fact that I chose UCSD because of its proximity to the beach and nothing to do with an interest in Communications. Two years ago, when I was one year into my three year lease on my BMW convertible, I woke up one morning and decided I wanted a new Mercedes. That day, I drove home a Mercedes with a three year lease – the proud owner of two convertibles and only one parking spot. I’ve walked into tattoo shops without knowing what to get – and no, I didn’t pick something from the wall. And one day last September, when feeling particularly disgruntled by work, and probably checking out Paris pictures on Instagram, I made the decision to quit my job and move to Paris. I loathe committing to anything, but interestingly, once I’ve committed, especially to those unthoughtful life decisions, I commit wholeheartedly. Case in point: part of the Paris plan includes a Vespa, for no other reason than that I decided it seemed romantic to ride around Paris on a red Vespa, stopping for a drink and to read a good book or write my novel whenever I stumble upon some place charming. Sure, I could be on foot or a bicycle for that, but I’ll be in Paris, so why not a Vespa? So anyways, this weekend I’m going Vespa shopping. Again totally unreasonable, but I just feel like buying one here and paying to ship it there just to be sure that nothing will stand in the way of me and Paris and my Vespa.Read More
Anine Bing jacket and boots, Elizabeth & James jeans, AllSaints tee, Free People beanie, Givenchy bag
This look is about as fall/winter as it gets for us in LA – jeans, t-shirt, and a leather jacket. I do like to rock a beanie though, even if the weather doesn’t actually call for one. And a yellow hobo looking one? Yes please. Happy Tuesday kids! xoxo
C&C California tee, Zara skirt, Giuseppe Zanotti heels, Fendi bag, Ray-Ban sunnies, Nixon watch
If there is one thing I hate almost as much as being a lawyer, its dressing like a lawyer. I’ve met many a casual dressing professional female who has told me how much she longs to dress up for work, and I always tell them the grass is greener on the other side. Sure, there are plenty of professions where taking risk is part of the dress code, but law is not one of them. I’m already pushing every limit with my many visible tattoos. But since I hate dressing up for work, I’m always trying to cheat the dress code by sneaking in a tee with my more business appropriate attire.
photographs by Manuel Vinicio http://www.manuelvinicio.com/Read More
Last spring, I read an interview of Mila Kunis in Marie Claire magazine where she described the year she decided to say “yes” to everything because she had become really good at saying “no” – she reported that it changed her life. At the time, I remember being struck by her courage and open-mindedness, but thinking I could never do the same. But a lot has changed in the last seven months and I now believe I’m ready to rise to the challenge. So now that I’m back home from my Australian adventures, I’m ready to say “yes” to anything and everything. So world – bring it!