Two and a half years ago, I met someone who shook my world apart. He was everything to me, though we were nothing. But somehow it seemed like the moment he wiggled his way into my mixed up heart, I was attached to him like a bungee, and every time it felt like I had distanced myself enough from him to feel like I was finally free of his pull, I’d spring back towards him. The reconnection was always unwilling on my part, because I really was running away, or at least trying. But then I’d quickly forget why I was running to begin with because all I could feel was certainty….. Four years ago, when I was going through the breakup of breakups (with my 8-year) it was “Better in Time” by Leona Lewis that got me through the sad days, sad nights, sad everything. Of breaking up, she sings, “its gonna hurt when it heals too” and to this day, I still can’t find a better way to describe breaking up ….. I’m not sure if it was him or me, so I’ll say we – we cut the bungee. So I’m outside of his pull, this time, forever. But pieces of him remain inside me. I will be walking happily arm in arm with my best friend in New York City when I pass a hotel that reminds me of a time we spent there a year ago, quite by accident, and then those pieces, though so little, consume me, envelop me, and I’m sad and I miss him. It still hurts long after it heals. La tristease durera toujours.